Occasions like Mother’s Day can be tricky when you are grieving the loss of your Mum. It’s important to acknowledge that it is ok to have varied feelings. Leading up to and on the day there’s no right or wrong way to feel. You might even find you will have a whole range of emotions; this is perfectly normal and fine. Be kind to yourself and don’t place too much pressure on yourself to think or feel a particular way. Here are a few suggestions to help make the day easier...
Listen to your inner dialogue, what is it saying?
- Do you need time alone? It’s ok to tap out for the day, keep off social media and do something nice for yourself.
- Do you need comfort from others? Think of an activity you can do to be with others and be distracted.
- Would holding a memorial help? It doesn’t have to be on a large scale, it could be a small token gesture like lighting a candle or going to a favourite spot and having a moment’s silence.
- Write a letter, perhaps getting your thoughts on paper will help. The letter could be to your Mum. Writing a letter may feel strange, but it can be a way of validating your emotions and feeling closer to your Mum, even though they're not here with you.
- Focus on a good memory. Bereavement can often bring up feelings of regret, such as wishing you had spent more time together. If you’re experiencing similar thoughts, try instead to focus on the time you did have.
About the author
National Clinical Advisor at Canteen
Siobhan has been a National Clinical Advisor at Canteen since April 2022 and is an experienced senior clinician and social worker who has held roles in the public, private and not for profit sectors.
Dealing with grief and loss