Coping with Mother's Day

If your Mum has cancer this Mother's Day

Mother’s Day might look different when your Mum is unwell. You might not be celebrating the way you usually would, but that doesn’t mean the day can’t hold meaning. Small, thoughtful gestures can help create moments of connection and care.

Here are a few gentle ideas:

• Write a letter sharing a memory, a thank you, or even just a “thinking of you.” You could decorate it with drawings, a collage, or pressed flowers. You might even ask if Mum has a memory she’d like to share from her childhood or time as a parent.
• Create a playlist, make a comfy corner, and hang out. Maybe Mum would enjoy a warm drink, a gentle hand massage, or just the quiet presence of being together.
• Make something, whether it’s a simple meal, a craft project, or even a handmade card. It doesn’t have to be elaborate — sometimes the simplest things are the most heartfelt.
• Take a photo, even if it’s not a posed portrait. A picture of your hands together, a shared moment captured, can become a beautiful keepsake.
• Head outside, if possible — a walk in the park, a cup of tea at a local café, or some time by the beach might offer a chance to breathe, connect, and remember.

And if your relationship with your Mum isn’t straightforward, you’re not alone. Showing up in whatever way feels right for you — even if that means setting boundaries or doing something quietly personal — is completely okay.

If your Mum has died

Grieving on Mother’s Day can feel incredibly raw, especially when the world around you seems to be celebrating. If you’ve lost your Mum to cancer — recently or long ago — this day can stir up a wave of emotions. There might be sadness, anger, love, guilt, or even numbness. You might feel all of these things at once — or none of them. Whatever you’re feeling is valid.

Here are a few ways you might choose to honour the day:

• Write a letter to your Mum. Say what’s on your mind, what you miss, or what you wish you could say. It’s okay if it’s messy — grief often is.
• Hold onto a good memory. Regret can be common in grief — try to gently shift your focus to the moments you did have together, however imperfect they may have been.
• Create a small ritual. Light a candle, visit a special place, play a song she loved, or make a favourite recipe. A quiet act of remembrance can feel grounding.
• Lean on support. Whether it’s a trusted friend, a support group, or just someone to text — you don’t have to go through the day alone. Planning something small and comforting with others can help soften the edges of the day.

And if your relationship with your Mum was complicated — or left you with unresolved feelings — you’re allowed to grieve that, too. Grief isn’t only about missing someone you loved deeply. It can also be about mourning what wasn’t, or what couldn’t be.

However this day finds you, may you feel supported, seen, and free to care for yourself in whatever way you need.